Dutch Elm Disease and the Birch Grove

birch-snag

I was surrounded by trees when I was a boy –
cedars mostly and three apple trees with sad fruit.
In front, branches hanging over State street, lived two Dutch elm trees.
They had a tree disease and someone cut them down.
I knew those two trees as a boy –
squirrels racing along their branches,
birds flying about in their branches.
My father said, “they have Dutch elm disease.”
It meant nothing to me.
I came home from school one day and they were gone.
I didn’t mourn.  I looked at the stumps then went on with boyhood.

Today, men came to my yard and cut down my birch trees.
They have a disease, they said, the bronze birch borer disease.
They are dying so they must be cut down –
nothing left but to make them into wildlife snags.
Bugs will live in them and birds will come to feed on the bugs.

It is painful being an adult, saying, “cut down those trees.”
“Those trees have the birch borer disease, so they must go.”
Now they are gone – the leaves gone –
the small spring green leaves, yellow autumn leaves,
the tangle of thin whippy branches.

Come on bugs and birds!
What’s left of my birch trees is all yours now –
I wait for you to come with spring after this long winter.


Portland, Oregon – January 10, 2017

Photo is my own, taken this date after the largest snowfall in Portland in a long time! The trees were cut the day before.

Two Trees

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Along the banks of the McKenzie
two trees stand over a cold Christmas flow
of rippled waters in thrilling rush.
One day the McKenzie will take them with her
but for now they remain, leafless in afternoon light,
stripped of but branch and bud by winter.

I came to see the river
yet what do I miss when I see
what I come to look upon?
This – beauty bare branches in a wind flown sky
flailing long arms in the breeze and water surges –
like young girls racing along a summer beach.


Portland, Oregon – January 4, 2017

Photo is my own, taken on December 27, 2016 above the McKenzie river, Oregon.

Here is the river:

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Door to Another World

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There are doors to other worlds
where fairies live in green gardens
fly among all the flowers
feast on fare from foreign lands
hover lightly over still pools.

Emerald and sparkling places
of dreams and visions interlaced
with spaces where magic can evoke
wonder in her eyes, beholding
enchanted realms, mythic times, and love.

Have the passageways been secreted away
the thresholds steely barred
locked before the coming of gray beard
aged walker on fading narrow paths
wandering soul with stick and cap?

She will say it is not so, having keyed
the rusted lock, turned the spider webbed latch
and opened the vine-encrusted door.
“If only, Grandpa, you could see what I see,
beyond the red door in the green fields.”


Portland, Oregon – December 2, 2016

Photo, my own.  Artists?  My dear granddaughter and a Cascadian oak.

The Day After

Feeling of slow motion fall
through northwest November rain
as the world I thought I knew
passes through watery elements
washed, drowned in apocalyptic fear.
Too soon to say, know, fathom
how to remake a world, create an idea
with others from broken pieces,
fractured remains of the dark day –
now the day after.
Time and rain are tools we have
things we will need to begin.


Portland, Oregon – November 9, 2016

The day following the horrible, terrible, no good, bad day in America.

Stop

High-wire act of living
each day tottering
on a precipice and long fall –
miscalculations, small mistakes
and it all breaks
into a Humpty-Dumpty mess.

Stop

There is no high-wire.
A path winds through a field
of flowing grasses to each horizon
sunrise, long arc of day
sunset over the field
night begins again.

Calm

Forget many things about life
the wreckage of dreams
the delusion of anger.
Practice seeing movement
listen for all the whispers
between the quiet spaces.

Rest

What is there that has not been?
Celestial spirals in shades of light
shadows of darkness
holds you, moves with you
circling slow around the still point.


Portland, Oregon – October 15, 2016

Ch. 6 of Thich Nhat Hanh’s, The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching.  He writes of three aspects of “Shamatha” – stopping: Stopping, calming, resting.  “If we cannot stop, we cannot have insight.”

The Joy of Life

Leaves fall in an autumn breeze –
another and another –
forgetting branch and twig
knowing not where they go.

Joy falls from the sky in autumn leaves
through southern suns slant
broken in branches, needles, bird flight;
fall without ceasing through crackling air.

All day long in light
I pass through fallen leaves.
While I sleep through the night
joy falls through its dark mysteries.
I wake to beauty twirling in flight
clinging a moment more
to creation, then letting go –
another one and another –
flung into the realm of the Graces
elemental virtues of the human soul,
parchment on which to write
a human life.


Portland, Oregon – October 12, 2016

Cancer

Look into darkness, organic form
multiplying within my own body – alive –
portending life diminishment, slowly
as autumn, harbinger of winters night,
passes in slanting shadows
across the landscape of my time.

Write of movement hidden within
from strangers under layers of skin
vital organs, blood vessels – layers thin
as fluttering veils masking passage
of  dark and microscopic growth.

Write, poet, words about cancer –
verse inclined towards disease and decay;
give voice to the realm of dying –
cancer’s voice whispering in a breeze
as the far horizon approaches.

Turn not away from this messenger nor
withhold forgiveness for your own body;
do not fear to imagine cellular movement
becoming aware of its presence
sensing in its curves and contours
labyrinthine confusion inside your warm body
coursing as well through wakening thoughts
finding ways into sleep and dreams.

Listen to cancer speaking in echoes
rising from deep and sonorous wells
telling stories from ancient pools
where life began, formed in wombs,
already there, in fertile green places
so like the burgeoning spaces
in which it now resides
on a still autumn afternoon.

Speak, poet, of what is in you
settling down as if in a field of grass
blowing in the breezes of sunset.
Say to the blown grass “here I am.”
Welcome, dark fruit of my being,
stranger from an unknown land.
Sit by my fire, share my bed,
feast on the riches of my life;
stay with me as the leaves fall
and wait with me as winter comes…
then you may go your way
with my blessing – only pray
you not take me with you when you go.


Portland, Oregon – October 3, 2016, eve of the feast of St. Francis.

In answer to your question: Yes, I do.  So far, it looks to be treatable and probably curable, so I have hope and for the long term.  As I read this, it seems darker than I feel.  But, in writing, I feel I have to face this thing.  Thus, it is no different than anything I write as a poet.  It is about looking at one thing in an attempt to evoke the holy, however you or I may conceive of it.

 

 

Little River

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I went to Little River to see what he saw
fixed his lens upon, measuring the light
waiting for a precise moment
when the quiet river, at its end,
meets the roiling surf or placid calm
of ocean wave breaking on coastal shores;
the sun beginning to descend
over a far edge that no one can see
or be there on its horizon plane.

His day at Little River is fixed
forever in black and white
in the quiet drift of day’s ending.
Mine, a shifting gray swirl
of maritime mist in movement
concealing the near rock formations
pounded in surf, then revealed, thinly.

For years his image of Little River,
emptying itself into pacific reaches,
hung before me, beckoning
while I worked in bureaucracy tedium.
One day, I thought, I would go there
to the sea and Little River
having travelled my course
seen at last my way
to the place where Little River
lost itself in the whole
and the wholly beautiful.


Portland, Oregon – September, 2016

The header photograph is my cell phone photo of an Ansel Adams calendar print of “Grass, reeds, water – near Little River, Northern California, 1959.” I visited there not long ago and stood, I believe, in the approximate location where he must have taken his beautifully constructed photograph. The beach area has been trampled over by many and a concrete parking lot with RV’s looms nearby. But, Little River remains, quietly emptying itself from its sources into the Pacific ocean. I had hoped it would be more pristine, lost in some magical past. But, it sits directly beside the traffic of Highway 101 on the California coast, just south of Mendocino.

On the day we were there, the marine layer prevented the ancient view that Mr. Adams had, plus I sort of detracted from the view.  His photograph of Little River is my favorite among his many incredible photographs of Yosemite and the American west.

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Practicing Darkness

I will turn out the overhanging lamp,
write by the light of the sun
setting within an aura of crimson glow,
touching pencil to the feel of paper
scraps on the table fading into shadows.

Darkness is another world to be
written of in other ways than with light
pervasive and intruding with bright beams.
How else can I write of gleams
that are stars and worlds spinning
so far and fast so that they are beyond
the reach of revealing light?

I will write by the radiance of deep shadows
sweeping low over my western horizon
a wordless journal of my own mind,
written in filamented whorls
careening through sublime feral country –
unable to see what lies before me.

I will try to understand, touch
what is real about the unknown
that, in light, I thought I knew.
What doorways, open to me, have I passed
believing I could see the way or, illumined
ignored paths I once had travelled?
Darkness may reveal I knew them not
nor where they now would lead.

I will practice darkness for  a time
write within its hallowed enclosure,
walk with it, as if with a monk, hooded
old, scarred – forgiveness upon forgiveness
in fields of fading memories
through lavish pastures of green life.


Portland, Oregon – August 31, 2016

Late Summer

Dog Days 2


Cool and lush of spring –
memories in shades of green
saturated life, complex form,
growth from a dark womb
beneath our feet, bearing us.

Summer follows in lighted waves,
early morning until the evening star.
Swells of shimmering warmth pour
through the ripening garden.

Late summer withering heat
wilts the barely tended
unwatered places barren brown
in needles and fallen stems
lying quiet in decay.
The harvest comes to be
uprooted, prepared, devoured.


Portland, Oregon – August 27, 2016

Photo is my own, taken this date.