Darkness within Darkness

What could this mean – darkness
as in the deepest night
without brilliance of bright moons
or morning stars in quiet flame?
Darkness as in a mid-day breeze
when all the flowers bloom
sway from side to side
without meaning, just shadows
of light wavering over stillness?

In the rain on a spring evening
darkness walks the garden
settles in among the small leaves
unfolding resplendent life
in flickering forms of fading light
their points punctuating darkness.

I see the heavens, flowers and the leaves –
darkness hiding in them, between
their folds, their flung lights
in all the mindless gaps
between the stars, before the sun
shimmering in every thing.


Portland, Oregon – May 1, 2017

My title and inspiration comes from the last verse of Stephen Mitchell’s translation of chapter one of the Tao Te Ching, of Lao-tzu:  “Darkness within darkness.  The gateway to all understanding.”

If I Were to Build a Home

mckenzie-river-afternoon-12-28-16

If I were to build a home
on the banks of a river it would be
to see come at me
snowmelt surge from mountains
passing in turbulent cold depth
in wild rush over worn boulders
then watch as it goes, flows away
to the surf and sand of an oceans edge
losing itself in curling waves
breaking on sea stacks slow eroding
over a long beach where children run
unaware, with gleeful cries.
That is where my final home will be
built not by my own hands
but by the hands of another.


Portland, Oregon – April 27, 2017

Photo is my own, taken 12/28/16 – the McKenzie River, Oregon, late afternoon.

Death of a Bird

A small bird flew into my window
as I was looking out.
I went to see how he fared
what was his fate.
He was lying on the ground
twitching as a scrub jay stood over him
picked him up, carried him
to the limb of a sumac
began to pluck out his feathers
scatter them to the day’s gray drizzle
to float in the air down to my feet
in tribute to one who handed him over
for it was my window that was the cause.

As if I were part of the play
I threw a stone at the jay
who dropped his victim from the limb
onto the stone path, alive no longer
eyes open, blank, gone.
The stone fell into my neighbor’s yard.

The jay quietly waited higher up in the sumac.
I walked away knowing I had come too late
could do nothing to save.

There are things I do not wish to see
events about suffering and death
when all I feel is helpless and weak
all I can do is watch or turn away.

I returned to the place minutes later –
the birds were gone.
The jay, I know, will return.


Portland, Oregon – April 23, 2017

Thinking like Stars

Shall I think as stars do –
distant, bright, placid
set in motion, making their way
as Buddhas, mindless
travelling interstellar pathways?

What do the stars think of us
our own star even our moon?
Heavens! The singing bird in the thicket
knows me not nor sings for me.

What shall I think of this?
I shall think – the glory!

Bird, star, self.
We carry our own thoughts
through the nights
in our sleep and in our dreams.


Portland, Oregon – April 18, 2017

Tuesday Evening – Holy Week

Spring rain, evening rain
as tulips close for the day, as
wind lifts each branch and new leaf.
Waiting in somber tones
minor chords and whispers
as God comes from the inside of space
just around a curve in the weft of woven time
spun in warp weave glistening.
Tuesday evening holiness
whole cloth ruffled in the breeze
lit by the setting sun
marked in water
the last few drops of rain.


Portland, Oregon – April 11, 2017

Holy week in the Christian tradition begins with Palm Sunday and reaches its zenith on Easter Sunday.

Hoh

Hoh 4 - 2015

Board the ferry in Seattle, cross the water
between glass and steel, loading docks big cranes
early morning darkness hum of engine churned waves –
moon to port in thin layers of flitting night cloud.
Roll off slow, uphill curve to the Hood Canal bridge
steel spine gray in pixelated light over dark water.
Hot coffee smell weaving through evergreen forests
on up to Sequim, dry in the shadow of Olympic peaks.

Leaving Port Angeles is leaving the known world.
America fades into the rear view mirror
as dawn rises slowly over the Cascade rim
light flowing soft on the Strait and foothills
a cleansing pour of shine filtered through a green haze
as the road courses past rocky beaches, dark groves.
Morning settles in along Highway 101
driving in trickling shadows up to Crescent lake.

Moving in the realm of the Salish sea
rising and falling in tidal movement
shaping the coves and borders of the land.
Mists and lifting fog shift in a whirling pavane
in the cool and drip of summers morning
along the pathway of the westering Sol Duc
before crossing the Calawah entering Forks –
chatter of the Thriftway and a fresh cup to go.

In southerly drift along the continents ragged edge –
the Bogachiel bridge curves in graceful arc
through a valley in the gaze of snow covered heights.
Broken land along the way, timber land
timbered tracts of slash heaps and forlorn stumps
to the tops of the once green sylvan hills
scattered through the scarred river plains
washed in snow melt and falling rain through all the hills.

America’s lost corner – of Makah, Quinault –
north by northwest, where the dream ends
in washed coves, lone beach head promontories
open to the sea beyond the reach of forests
deep in dark fir and fern entanglement
home of Sasquatch, big foot, rumored, unseen
pillaging the thoughts of dwellers in primal space
dripping under eves of moss laden leaky roofs.

Out of nowhere an eastward turn, metanoia,
as a pale sun brushes the shifting cloud cover
branch shadowing the road up the river valley
tracing its course under an arching evergreen
losing time by the minutes and the hours
moving senses slowly towards consciousness
of space in primeval and verdant infancy
efflorescent, fresh, bathed in effulgence.

This last road leads in a slow meander
up into the coastal rainforest of the Hoh –
rare earth in a fragile and disquieted land
where silence lives and in the night, darkness.
In evening camp I sit by the rush of river
sipping whiskey beneath fir and hemlock,
old before I was born or my fathers
before my mothers lived, conceived and bore.

I’ll hike the river trail in the morning
surrounded by soft beds of thick moss, green
if green is green of a thousand different shades
up in the trees, moss to the high branches
vying with ferns for space, feelers probing
forming intricacies of water, light, shadow –
patterns of life in deep, terra, mute abundance –
another spore, nurse log, fungus, another time.

Rain drizzle sifts through a dense canopy
hovering over rivulets floating
clear across sand and pebble speckled beds,
fallen surface leaves held and spun.
Black bear and antlered elk roam in these woods
foraging unseen around each turn of the trail.
Bear bell jingling, walking sticks on the path
I wander for miles in sensual bliss.


Portland, Oregon – April 1, 2017

Photo is my own – the base of a Bigleaf maple beside the Hoh river trail. One of the photos I use as a rotating  site header is also of the Hoh river and valley during a light rain.

Now I Lay Me Down

“Now I lay me down to sleep…”
I recited as prayer, imploring the night.

Sixty years have passed in cool water
slow movement beneath the River Bridge
as now I turn out my bedside lamp
no longer reciting my plea of childhood faith
asking God to take my soul in its nights death.

Still, I then slept through the dark hours
waking with the morning light, undisturbed
despite wind shaking the tall cedars,
creaking in the walls or even the calls
of monsters under my bed patiently waiting.

Perhaps if I say this child’s prayer tonight
as I lay me down to sleep
I’ll sleep his sleep until morning light
awakens me and not open my eyes
to darkness and still silent hours.


Portland, Oregon – March 14, 2017

This is “inspired” by a common prayer for children:  “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.  If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.” It the version I said with my mother.

The Requirement of Spring

still-winter

Ash Wednesday it opened, the first daffodil
under gray skies, near the rock pile, just the one
blowing about on its pale green thin stem
come brightly unfolding in winters chill.

Now a cold wind pesters about from all directions
bringing dark clouds filled with hail bits, blasts of rain,
threats of snow in the night and in the early morn.
Still it is winter and still just the one daffodil.

Spring comes, I know, all else says it’s so, but spring
leaves us wanting it bright and quick to come
hurry to usurp this winters persistent and dark rumble
wearing at our willingness to wait, so weary.

Come, spring!  Why need you an equinoxian turn
when other seasons linger long or too early arrive?
Come, spring!  Bring on your abundant breaking
through the doors of winter as has this daffodil done.


Portland, Oregon – March 5, 2017

img_20170305_160656639

Photos are my own, taken March 5, 2017

Sanctuary

Where is the place I can go, to hide
where no one can find me, secreted
within moss encrusted glades, lost
under stars hovering in radiant silence?

I did not find this place when I was young
or in the years when I gave my life to labor.
Then, thought I, rest will come, a time
of ease, when I can tend my spring garden
under the sheltering gaze of the past
beneath the western setting sun.

Yet, shouts of the present sound about me
calling my name, “where are you, where are you?”
I am loathe to say, “here I am, here I am”
wishing to tuck my head beneath broad leaves
into shadows cast by evergreen sentinels
watching over me, whispering stories
of what was, what is, what may yet be.

Hemmed I about by witnesses ancient and holy
birthed under the canopy of these northwest woods –
the peoples of the land chanting in my ears
pacific surf pounding inside me,
rattling old bones of memory and fear.

There is nowhere to go in this age
no sanctuary or safe harbor where I,
untouched by the swirl of clamoring voices,
can say “All is well, all will be well”
and feel inside that it is so, will be so.

The world – old, resplendent, grace filled –
beckons me out of all my hiding places
with the calm of wind through cedars,
the delight of birds alighting on branches, preening.
They are the touches, voices, and movements
of the present in its oft forgotten glory,
filtering, through green lavish life, the cacophony
swirling, in and all about me, furiously.


Portland, Oregon – March 3, 2017

I began this piece thinking about sanctuary for my brothers and sisters who fear deportation from our country.  I need do what I can to support and assist them.  But, as to poetry, I find that poems bend back to self before they can go elsewhere.  For poets, the question is appropriate: “It’s all about you, isn’t it?”

Deodar

deodora-2

“We wish to become a pine tree with the wind singing in our branches, because we believe that a pine tree does not suffer.” Thich Nhat Hanh, The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching.


We live under the canopy of the Deodar
with long, horizontal, drooping branches
overreaching our home, calming our senses;
a green and lush canopy of cedar stillness
in graceful boughs, undulating, breathing
with each push of air, each alighting bird.

How little we know of life in our several seasons
but that we care, we love, and we suffer.
We imagine what may yet bring suffering
and with every stir of a portending wind –
flutter, breeze, gust, or gale –
we search for ways out of its grasp.

Over us the Deodar resides, layered
in long limbs hovering in somber reaches,
from whose masses of green and gray
come solace for suffering as it suffers not.
From its heights it drips rain in nourishing showers
wafts about it a green swirl of silence
like whispering words about living and dying,
of nirvana and the end of suffering.


Portland, Oregon – February 17, 2017

The Deodara cedar is common in Cascadia and in our own yard in which two younger versions are ascending to 20-30 feet near the giant in my photo.  Interesting that the name “Deodar” is from the Hindi deod ā r < Sanskrit devad ā ru, equivalent to deva god + d ā ru wood, or, “wood of the gods.” The OED uses “timber” of the gods.  This noble appellation is apparently given due to the hardness and durability of the wood.  Nice to know!

Photo is my own, taken on February 17, 2017